Panic Attacks - Stop the bully
Anxiety, Fear, Panic Attacks, Toxic People

Panic Attacks: Stop The Bully

We’ve all faced a bully at some point.

School, work, college, home – they’re everywhere.

They exist because they can.

There are two sides to bullying. (1) the bully, and (2) the victim.

For a bully to do what they do, there needs to be a victim.

You might not have chosen to get bullied, but being a victim is a choice.

When it comes to being bullied by panic attacks, we can choose not to be a victim any longer.

The surprising connection between a bully and a panic attack

Panic attacks and bullies operate in the same way.

Panic attacks can only exist in a highly anxious, vulnerable state of mind. That is where they flourish. With all the ‘what if’s. . .’, there’s plenty of fuel to stoke the fire of panic.

When our minds are controlled and confident, there’s no victim – nothing for the panic attack to feed on.

What is a bully’s sole intention?

To inflict mental, emotional, and sometimes physical pain.

How does a bully achieve it?

Through intimidation, and by having the attention he craves. No attention means no fuel to stoke the fire.

Why does a bully, bully?

Who cares. Just know that a bully bullies because he can. Forget about understanding his twisted mentality and why he would want to inflict mental, emotional, and sometimes physical pain. Instead, focus on what matters. Focus on the choice you have.

The choice

When it comes to being bullied by panic attacks, you do have a choice. I want to make that choice clear to you.

Deal with the bully (panic attacks), or face them for the rest of your life.

Why do some people get bullied and others don’t? You might try and factor in physical presence, but you can guarantee there are examples of people with a bodybuilding physique who get bullied – just like there are examples of smaller people who don’t get bullied.

There will be lots of factors that dictate why some people get bullied and others don’t, but the overriding factor is being a victim.

When I say a bully bullies because he can, it’s because there has to be a victim for the bullying to take place.

Being a victim is a choice.

It’s not your fault if someone chooses to bully you, but it is your fault for letting it continue to happen.

Nobody said facing a bully is easy. But is it any harder than the prospect of dealing with panic attacks for the rest of your life?

Handing over your pocket money to the bully might prevent him from hitting you, but he’ll be back for more. The problem doesn’t go away.

Giving your pocket money away only compounds the problem and makes it worse. The more you do it and give in, the more the bully will expect you to do it.

You have to get to a place that says no more.

I don’t care how you get there, but you have to reach a level where you’re so pissed off with being pushed around, you’re not willing to take it any longer.

I found the best emotion to tap into for this is anger.


If you’re getting bullied by panic attacks, you should be angry.

Anger, when channelled in the right way, is an emotion that supersedes panic. It’s the quickest tool you can use to break the victim mentality.

Get frustrated. Get angry. Get however you need to get to create change.

Unlike your dad’s advice, I’m not telling you to punch the bully in the face. That’s the good thing about a panic attack. You don’t need to.

Anyway, punching yourself in the face won’t do you any good.

You are your own bully

When I say ‘you are your own bully’, I’m not suggesting you get a perverse pleasure in causing yourself mental pain. Of course you don’t. Nobody enjoys panicking and suffering a panic attack.

Your bully is born from habit.

Through patterns of habit and behaviour, your brain has associated things it shouldn’t with a threat to your survival. It’s this association that causes the panic (panic attacks). And it’s this way of thinking that makes you your own bully.

Everyday things like going to the supermarket and seeing friends become unachievable because of the state of mind you’ve created.

This state of mind gets unravelled and dealt with when you start seeing panic attacks for what they really are: bullies.

Confront the bully

The next time you feel the bully (panic attack) provoking you, I want you to say: ‘DO YOUR WORST!’. If you can, shout it. Get angry. You don’t have to verbally say it. Say it in your head. However you say it, mean it.

If there is one thing a bully doesn’t like, it’s confrontation.

That’s why, when you say ‘DO YOUR WORST!’, it won’t get worse – it will get better.

This is a trigger to remind yourself that you’re no longer willing to put up with panic attacks and the physical symptoms they cause any longer.

Like all bullies, pride might dictate that there is some initial retaliation. Pass through it. Keep getting angry, and keep confronting it.

It will soon get the message.

While you do this, please be comforted in the knowledge that a panic attack has NEVER caused anyone any physical harm, ever. Doesn’t this just go to prove that the fear we create is much worse than anything else we experience?

When we don’t fuel the fear (anxiety), there is nothing for the panic attack (bully) to work with.

I’ll repeat the choice that you have.

Deal with the bully (panic attacks), or face them for the rest of your life.

I used to have 4-5 severe panic attacks every day.

Since I’ve adopted this mentality, I’ve not had one since.

Does the bully try it on every now and again?

You bet it does.

While I’m facing new challenges and growing, I wouldn’t expect it any other way.

But now, when I ‘feel’ the sensations of a panic attack, I simply adopt the same physical and mental stance I always adopt.

‘PANIC. GO FUCK YOURSELF.’

Anxiety Rebalance
Why do toxic people cause me anxiety?
Anxiety, Depression, Fear, Happiness, Social Anxiety, Stress, Success & Wellbeing, Toxic People

Why Do Toxic People Cause Me Anxiety?

Toxic people come in many different shapes and sizes. Telling the good from the bad will seriously limit your anxiety. How can you tell who’s toxic and who isn’t?

Nobody is perfect, but odds would say that, right now, you have toxic people in your life.

Let’s define what I mean by toxic people:

  • Toxic people always have drama in their life (because they haven’t got enough going on in their own life).
  • Toxic people rarely have anything good to say, apart from when it’s about themselves.
  • Toxic people are quick to criticise and judge others.
  • Toxic people are manipulative.
  • Toxic people lie a lot and exaggerate the truth.
  • Toxic people rarely, if ever, apologise.
  • Toxic people believe their lives are perfect, and nobody else can get close to that perfection.
  • Toxic people make you feel like you need to prove yourself to them.
  • Toxic people use privately shared information against you when it suits them.
  • Toxic people are narcissistic and delusional about their self-worth.
  • Toxic people have a way of making everything be about them.
  • Toxic people have few friends.
  • Toxic people are quick to cut you out of their life.
  • Toxic people are deeply unhappy (but like to portray that this is far from the truth), and therefore take pleasure in bringing others down with them.

Ring any bells?

It’s the last point in this list that is the most important because toxic people will bring you down without hesitation.

Identifying toxic people in your life and doing something about them will prevent you from lots of unnecessary hardship and unhappiness – including anxiety and stress.

Why?

Because toxic people are like sinking ships.

Their lives are a mess, and they have absolutely no trouble or conscience about taking everybody else down with them.

In fact, it’s exactly what they want.

‘If I’m unhappy and miserable you can get a taste.’

Don’t take it personally. It rarely has anything to do with anyone specifically.

The truth is, toxic people don’t have anything of significance going on in their own lives, so they make it their job to create drama – and drama is always waiting around the corner.

If you’re the one closest to them (and you normally are because you are one of the few tolerating them and their behaviour), you’ll be the one to get the brunt of their dysfunctional behaviour.

Dealing with toxic people is one of the quickest and most efficient ways to deal with stress and anxiety, and here are five ways to do it.

#1: Don’t get sucked into the drama, gossip and negative energy of a toxic person.

gossiping

Like a ticking time bomb, a toxic person will always have some drama up their sleeve. If you’re in the way, you’ll no doubt get caught up in the middle of it.

The only way to avoid the drama is not to get involved in it.

Distance yourself using number five on this list. You’ll never be able to stop the drama so don’t try. Just keep out of the way of it.

Gossiping about others is a common pastime for a toxic person, which is a little harder to avoid because everybody likes a good gossip, making it easy to get caught up in it.

Maybe you’ve been sucked in yourself? I know I have.

It’s incredibly difficult to break through the negativity of drama and gossip when it surrounds you. It can very quickly become your life, and before you know it, you’re in the middle of something that doesn’t involve you.

The negative energy that surrounds toxic people draws in other toxic people, so it’s common to find them in groups.

Being sucked into the negative energy tends to bring out the worse in you, so where you can, you should always stay out of the way of drama and gossip.

#2: Don’t get into an argument with a toxic person.

Arguing with toxic people

Talk is cheap, and words get bandied around with ease when you argue, especially when you argue with a toxic person.

Arguments can quickly turn into a petty war of he said this, and she said that.

It happens in all types of relationships every day, and I have no doubt you’ve got into such squabbles with your friends and family (toxic or otherwise).

Usually, you can get past these petty arguments, but there are occasions when you can’t – when you’re dealing with a toxic person.

An argument will almost always involve the toxic person using privately shared information against you, which has a tendency, again, to bring out the worse in you.

It’s hard to have a genuine and heartfelt conversation (or disagreement or argument) with a toxic person because they show little interest in how you are feeling.

It’s their way or the highway.

When you’re dealing with such apathy, there is little point in trying to reason.

Getting stuck in a heated debate serves little purpose. All it does is fuel their anger further – you have to remember in their eyes they are never wrong – so they end up doing something else highly dysfunctional, like threatening you or getting physically violent.

The other common trait of a toxic person is the ‘I’ll cut you out of my life, and you’ll never see me again’.

This is another example of their irrational behaviour. It’s always black or white because there is no reasoning, compromise, or rationality.

You simply can’t win with a toxic person, so it’s best not to try.

#3: Surround yourself with like-minded people.

Like-minded people

It’s common sense really – the law of attraction.

If you surround yourself with negative, toxic people, it won’t be long before you sink to their level.

That’s why you have to surround yourself with like-minded, positive people.

Like-minded people tend to be on the same journey as you, and won’t have the time or inclination to try and dictate to you how you should live your life.

They won’t be looking at your yacht criticising it – they’ll be busy builder their own yacht.

Sit on your luxury yacht and keep sailing forward.

Pass the sinking ships with a smile on your face, and only invite like-minded people aboard.

4. Be confident, and stay polite with a toxic person.

Self-Confidence

A toxic person might be somebody very close to you, so it’s not always a straightforward situation.

You might have known them for years, and only just recognised their toxic behaviour.

You might work with them and don’t have a choice but to spend time with them.

You might have a deep love for them, and rather than want to distance yourself, you feel compelled to try and help them instead.

If it’s the latter, I love your loyalty, but you need to be aware that a leopard rarely changes its spots.

In other words, you’re going to find it incredibly difficult to change a toxic person because ultimately, they are who they are – whoever they are and however close you are to them.

Whatever the scenario, be sure to be confident and polite with a toxic person.

They will sense any form of weakness, and they will take advantage and prey on it.

Give a toxic person an inch, and they’ll take a mile!

By being polite and confident, you’re not giving them any reason to take advantage of you and your good nature. They also have no good reason to try and afflict you with their behaviour.

Like a bully, they will get bored and move on.

It’s only when they get to a stage in their life when nobody tolerates their behaviour, and they become socially isolated, they start to appreciate they need to change their behaviour.

But, with the best will in the world, it may never happen.

None of this is your concern.

It’s best to focus on yourself, rather than try to control other people and their actions.

#5: Limit your time spent with toxic people, and consider cutting them out of your life.

Cut a toxic person out of your life

The most effective solution to dealing with toxic people is to cut them out of your life, and at the very minimum, keep them at arm’s length. Otherwise, you risk sinking with the ship.

I know it comes across as harsh, and earlier I said that cutting people out of your life is a trait of toxic people, but there is no other long-term sound solution.

It’s the toxic person’s choice to be toxic – remember that – especially if the person/people are close to you.

It’s natural to feel guilt, almost as though you are abandoning them. You’re not. You’re becoming the best person you can be – and that will mean cutting toxic people out of your life.

You’ve outgrown their behaviour and it’s time to move on with your life.

Plus, you’ll quickly overcome this feeling of guilt because (1) you have nothing to feel guilty about, and (2) you’ll feel much better for it.

Everybody has off days. Even the most happy-go-lucky person will struggle sometimes.

Should you cut them out of your life?

Of course not!

You know the type of consistent toxic people I’m talking about – these are the ones you need to pay attention to.

If you’re ever in any doubt, go back to the list at the top of this article. If somebody is demonstrating these characteristics on a regular, consistent basis, it’s time to do something about it.

Stay strong and keep moving forward!

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